On Random Notes of Parchment
by VoldemortsIllegitimateChild
Summary: The day before her wedding, Lily chronicles her life with James.
1. Prolouge

_On random notes of parchment/I'm scrawling my existence/dressed in white…_

This story was inspired by my own life and that line from the Atari's song, "Unopened Letter to the World".

**Random Notes of Parchment (Prologue) **

**The day before her wedding, Lily chronicles her life with James.**

I never thought I'd be here… I can't believe even now, as I sit at my desk.  If you had asked me years ago if I thought I would marry James Potter, I would have laughed in your face.  Potter? Potty wee Potter for a husband? You must be joking, dear.

          But, if there is still any doubt in my mind, it's banished by the dress in the corner.  The white wedding dress, next to the photo of us kissing is hard to argue with.  So is the ring on my finger, all proof that tomorrow is the day.   

          You know the day, don't you?  The day little girls dream of?  That day when they walk down the aisle with their daddy and walk back up it with their new husband?   Mine is September 21.  It's going to be a beautiful day.

          But, let's backtrack just a little.  I'm not writing this about tomorrow.  This is all about yesterday, and the days before that.  It's about where it all started.  And where it all started is Muggle School.      


	2. First Sight?

**On Random Notes of Parchment**

**Chapter One: First Sight?**

**Summary: The day before her wedding, Lily chronicles her life with James.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, creatures, etc. created by JKR.  I also don't own the song "Unopened Letter to the World," by the Ataris. **

**A/N: I know they seem young for all of this boyfriend girlfriend stuff, but that's how it was with us, I swear.   There's a reason for the shortness of this chapter…I swear!  See, I have two ideas about how to write this, and I don't know which one I like better, so I'm going to the next chapter in the other format, and it will be the same thing as this one plot-wise...**

          My first meeting with James Potter was hardly what you would call love at first sight.  I knew him by name only, as he wasn't in my class.  He was however, in Diane's class, which was of great use to me.  

          It all started with Devon.  Devon never liked me very much.  He was always making fun of my hair, calling me things like "Fireball."  I told my mother, and she said, "Call him Blondie."  Blondie? Blondie is a real harsh insult, Mum.  Are you sure he can handle that?  

          But, Devon _did like my very best (and only) friend, Jessie.  And Jessie liked him.  Unfortunately, Devon had a girlfriend, Diane.  Personally, I always thought that Diane was a good match for Devon.  She "hated Jessie and all of her fucking ass friends."  Remember, we were only nine then.  It was a big deal to kids who thought nerd was the most cutting insult in the world._

          Like I said, Diane was in Devon's class.  So, I figured, if I told James to tell Diane that Devon made-out with Jessie, she'd dump him and he would be miserable which was always fun.  It didn't occur to me at the time that he would still be dating Jessie.  

          I don't think it mattered, at any rate.  I saw James in line as his class was going to recess and our class was coming back.  When I asked him, he said, "Why?" 

          "To make Devon's life miserable," I explained, before the line moved forward.  I glanced back at him to see him giving me a very strange look.  


	3. Sirius Black

            My last year of Muggle School was the first year that I had the pleasure of knowing James Potter.  That was the first, and for a while I thought only, year that it _was_ a pleasure to know him.  It took most of the year for us to actually talk to each other.  For the most part, I was more interested in James's best friend… a Sirius Black.  

            But I think this would be a little bit confusing if I didn't explain the whole story.  This has quite a bit to do with my friends and me.  When I started the year, I was quite lost.  Jessie had moved away, and I would never see her again.  I was thrown in with the friends from last year that I had hoped to leave behind.  Luckily, I had one true friend, a short mousy girl named Cara.  I also became much closer to Hannah.  We had been friends in Kindergarten, and had since lost touch.  But we were starting to be friends once more.  

            This made Hannah's other friend, Missy very jealous, and we fought for nearly a month.  We finally got over it and came to a peaceful compromise.  However we were maddeningly polite to each other.  Luckily, we only saw each other at lunch.  During the day, I was occupied with Sirius Black. 

            In class, we sat at three long tables.  I, being Evans, happened to be sitting across and one seat to the right of Sirius Black.  I admired his humor and good nature about everything but math.  Needless to say, I also admired his looks.  We became friends, if only in the classroom setting.  

            But I bet you're wondering what all this has to do with James Potter.  It's coming soon, I promise.  You see, I told you that I skated on thin ice with Missy, very wary of another big blow up.  When James was stood up by Missy's friend, I made a joke about how she was probably seeing someone else.  He thought I was serious and I had to rush back and explain everything to him.  

            Afterwards, I became I messenger of sorts between him and Emma (Missy's friend).  This continued all summer, and we became friends.  We grew closer, and I learned he and Sirius were very similar in nature.  However, Sirius had the looks, and my feeling for James were purely platonic.  

            And then, James, Sirius, Hannah and I received our Hogwarts letters.  After that, things began to change and spin out of control very quickly.  

I am aware this is the shortest chapter in the history of the world, but I'm struggling right now.  The next chapter will be better and I'm excited about it.  It might be a long time from now.  You have been forewarned.  

**I'd like to kick a few shout-outs:**

**LoonyLoopyLisa****:  My very first review.  I'm glad you like my prologue, despite its shortness.  I think all of my chapters are destined to be short.**

**Tom girl:** I struggle at writing soon.  It always takes me like two months to update.  

**Citrus scented:** I'm thrilled this made it to your FS list… really really thrilled.

**Angelxd14:** Like I said before…destined to be short.  Please stay understanding!

**Citris**** scented (again): Thank you very much.  That's really a HUGE compliment. **

**Lil**** lily: I feel like disappointing a lot of people with my miniscule chapters.  I promise to try harder.   **

**Jewels: **Thanks a lot and I really love your email address!

**Kerry:** Back again!  Yay!  My name is very recently put into my bio.  Read it, and thanks!

**Citris**** scented (third times a charm):  Thanks, that's probably what I'll do.  **


	4. Horny at Hogwarts

**On Random Notes of Parchment**

**Chapter 3: Horny at Hogwarts**

**Disclaimer: The characters, settings, and events mentioned in the Harry Potter Series belong to JKR. **

**A/N: To CoolCatJenny: this is an odd L/J tennis match of the hearts! Kidding, but you'll see what I mean.**

*******

I think you may be beginning to wonder what on Earth I was talking about when I said I hated James. As far as you can see, I don't hate him. We're friends, even.  There's no romance to spice things up.  Where's the drama? It's coming. 

Life went on very calmly that summer. Other than the fact I could barely get to sleep at night, so excited was I, it was no different than my Muggle ones.  I went to Diagon Alley for the first time, with James and Sirius, who showed me around, being purebloods, and Hannah, who was a half-blood, who rarely went. It was a marvelous place, really. I loved it from the minute I saw it. Who wouldn't?

It was the same with Hogwarts. An utterly gorgeous place, as I'm sure you can imagine. I loved everything about it, from the bratty poltergeist to the changing stairs to the view from the Astronomy Tower. Hannah was sorted into Ravenclaw, and I into Gryffindor, but we tried to meet at least twice a week.  We remained good friends this way…until.  You'll see more of _that later.  _

I made friends in Gryffindor, Morgan, who was a very athletic girl. She liked basketball (Muggle sport) and Quidditch, and was very good at it.  She had shoulder length dark hair, almost black, that was slightly wavy. She had dark freckles over pale skin that turned a bright red when she laughed, and she laughed in such an odd way it was addictive.  She was a pureblood and had known James and Sirius all her life. There was Lisa, who had a few freckles. She was very into fashion, and wore a lot of make up. She was a lot like me, even a Muggleborn. We even thought the same movie stars where "groovy." The only difference was that she was so over the guys in our grade.  She didn't do sports at school, but she was on a swim team in the summer.  Last, but certainly not least, there was Madeline, better known as Maddie. She was like me in my more studious ways, liked to read. She was a true friend though; more loyal than any other I met. If I had a problem, I went to her first. A half blood, she did karate, but in the magical world, preferred dueling. 

James, Sirius, and their two friends, Remus and Peter where all sorted into Gryffindor with us. I was glad, in the beginning anyway. I knew them well, and we starting to become closer friends. 

So far, things seem together, right? Normal, average, Hogwarts stuff. But then, _it_ happened. We girls always joked about how horny James was. It wasn't really bad, perverted stuff, just a running joke. It was sparked during our first flying lesson. Our Professor, Madam Adams, was a Muggleborn. She had us change into gym clothes for class and do Muggle stretches. When we bent to touch our toes, James "happened" to be behind us. "Do that again," he said. 

"Horny little bugger, aren't you?" I asked. And it started. If we had nothing to do, we made jokes about it him.  It wasn't in a mean way, just a teasing one.  

          December rolled around, and we had double History of Magic on the last day before Christmas Break.  I had been sitting next to Carrie, a Ravenclaw.  She was practically in love with James Potter and had lent a quill to him days ago.  She was too afraid of actually talking to him to ask for it back, so I volunteered to do it for her.   I crept quietly down the aisle.  Professor Binns didn't notice me.   I tugged gently on James's robe sleeve.  "Do you have Carrie's quill?" I asked.  He handed it to me.  There was no other conversation, nothing more, nothing romantic or even friendly.  Just civil conversation.

          That would have been the end of it, except for Morgan, and her friend, Jeannie.  They laughed.  "You like James," they stage whispered to me.  The lunch bell rang, and we all dashed out.  It was half way through the meal when I realized I had never given Carrie her quill back.  To get to her the short way, I walked past James.  To get to her the long way, I walked around the whole Great Hall. 

          I was walking by him when he called for me to come closer.  "Hey Lily, do you like me?" I could have said yes, which would have been the truth…James was a lot better looking in my eyes now, though he hadn't changed much.  I could have diverted the subject and asked why.  I would've too, had I not been shell shocked at the time.  Instead, I said the first thing, the first word that came to mind.  "No."

          "Why?" James asked instantaneously.  He looked surprised.  Maybe he had never been turned down before.  

          Again, I had no idea what to say.  "Because you're horny all the time," I answered lamely.  

          I hurried to the Ravenclaw table, thrust the quill in Carrie's face and ran back to my own seat.  I hurriedly told my friends what happened.  They were all surprised, but no one was as shocked as me.  We had Charms next and kind Professor Flitwick let us have the period off.  To say the least, it was loud.  Maddie, the ever faithful friend, volunteered to go ask what the heck James was talking about for me.     

          She told me he said he liked me.  I didn't believe her, but she persisted.  "Then why would mumble it and look away, like he didn't want his friends to hear?" I didn't have an answer to that, and I still didn't trust his seriousness.  What changed my mind was what happened next.  

"James, James, likes Lily, Lily," his friends sang, Sirius singing the original and Remus and Peter doing the echo.  

          I blushed crimson, but the damage was done.  I had a full blown crush on James Potter, and I would spend the next of the year regretting it. 

***

_The author would like to thank:_

_Trina Casey: That was the point and I'm glad it worked.  Thanks._

_Coolcatjenny__: I thought the hate would come in this chapter, but it didn't. Don't worry though.  It will, soon.  Be patient child.  _


	5. Curses!

**On Random Notes of Parchment**

**Chapter 4: Curses!**

**A/N: Lily's Christmas is a lot like mine.  I'm not Christian; I'm Hindu so I made her kind of non-religious.  I hope it doesn't offend anyone.  I'm not against Christianity or anything.  I just have _no_ idea what a Christmas service would be like. **

**Rating for this chapter: R. Lily's got quite a tongue, you know.   **

~*~

_The the feelin' that I feel is so good   
He makes me feel so in la-la-la-la-love   
If he only knew what he does to me   
My man, my man, my baby   
Oh he makes me feel so lovely, so sexy   
I'm so in la-la-la-la-love_

**_Destiny's Child, Eight Days of Christmas_**

**~*~**

I went home for Christmas that year, just like I always do.  I can't imagine not being with my family at Christmastime.  The whole way back I sang a little song to myself.  _James likes me and I like him, we're so happy, happy from limb to limb._ It was a bit stupid, but it rhymed.  

          I don't know if you can quite understand the feeling of ecstasy coursing through my veins, but it was definitely there.  More so…it was almost Christmas!  I love Christmastime.  It's not the presents.  I could care less about them.  It's my family.  I love my family.  

          Every year, my aunt, uncle, their two daughters, and my cousin in law come over.  So does my dad and my uncle's best friend.  He's practically my uncle, too.  Our family is…crazy would be the appropriate word.  It's insane and hysterical.  Plus, my cousins are completely awesome.  Unfortunately, this story isn't about them, is it? It's about James and me, and the people at Hogwarts.  

          So, we'll drop the subject of my extremely odd family (of which I am the oddest; don't let my calmness here fool you), and suffice it to say that I had an extremely enjoyable Christmas break.  Then I got back to school.  Hell may be an appropriate word.  

~*~

_Life is hard_

_Life is stress_

_Life is such a pain in the ass _

_Saturday night, I'm not dressed how can I go on _

_I hate my life_

_I hate my life _

_Your life's so bad they're gonna take it take it all away_

_Complain, complain life sucks anyway _

_It, it's all so hard let them take it all away_

_Why the competition _

_Why stress to death_

_Be happy with what you have _

_Most have so much less_

_I hope some day we realize how good it really is_

_Yeah, I may hate my life at times but I always try to live_

**_Youth Brigade, I Hate My Life_**

~*~

          It started the very first day of school, as soon as I got back.  Goofing off with my friends, I leaned up and over the table to put something in Morgan's hair…paper, I think it was.  In doing so, my butt was high in the air.  So, of course, the wonderful James Potter had to yell out "Ugh! God, Evans, no one wants to see that!" and everyone who heard (save my friends) had to laugh at me.  

          Little things like that didn't matter much by themselves, but they added up.  One day, I was walking to Herbology, admiring the snow fresh on the ground.  All of a sudden, I was showered with snow.  "Potter!  What the fuck is wrong with you?! Asshole!" I said, as Maddie cast the drying spell on me.  I had assumed that was it for the rest of the day.  I was wrong.  As we left Herbology, I felt snowballs attacking my back.  Every time I turned around, there was no one there.  But I knew, I _knew_ it must have been James.  Worst yet, we had History of Magic next, and Binns wouldn't have noticed my predicament if the snowballs where smacking _him in the face…not that they could.  So, I was forced to wait until after that to see Flitwick about getting the Modified Levitating/Locomotor Charm they used off of me.  _

          James Potter was part of the Marauders, the leader of the coolest gang in school.  The guys in our year turned against me.  The girls rarely ever spoke rudely or unkindly _to_ (not about, they did a lot of talking about me, none of it good) but often had parties in which the whole year but Maddie and I were invited.  Things were spiraling down hill very fast.  

          By March, I had given up.  The last straw was my beads.  My favorite Uncle Eddie lived in America.  He sent me some Mardi Gras beads, and I loved them.  I had them tied loosely to my bag, and I was forever taking them off to play with them.  I had gotten up to throw something away and Martin had tripped me.  Using what I had in my hands (the beads) I whipped him.  But I had forgotten. Martin was the seeker for the Gryffindor team, and a good one at that.  He caught the beads out of the air and it became a horrible came of keep away.  It was when James Potter had them that I finally caught on.  "Game over, Potter.  I caught them, they're mine.  I won," I said, silently adding a _for once_.  

          "No you didn't," he said.  He gave a gigantic pull and they snapped, broken.  So I was I.  I just couldn't take it anymore.  Why? Why did everybody hate me?! What was _wrong with them!  What was wrong with me?  I ran out of the room.  I hated it.  I hated school.  I hated life.  I hated the fact I had to face everyone in school for another week until Easter hols.  I hated the fact I would have to see my sister again soon.  I hated everything.  But I loved my friends. _

          They were the ones that found me in the back of the library.  They made me laugh.  I loved them to pieces, as I told them that day.  They gave me advice.  "Don't let them get to you, Lils.  They're not worth it."  "James wants you Lily.  He's mad you didn't want _him_." 

          "But I did want him," I protested.  

          "Why would you want him?  Look at what he did to you!  If you want mine – our- advice, keep on going.  Don't let them see your pain.  You're Lily Evans.  You're cool.  You're invincible."  "Of course she is.  She's friends with _us isn't she?"  _

          So I didn't.  I laughed, I smiled.  I was nice to the bitches that made fun of my hair.  I flirted with guys in the year above me.  I put effort into my appearance every day.  I got good grades.  I visited Hagrid.  I grew.  I ate junk food.  I gossiped.  I was a completely normal eleven-year-old.  Completely normal, except when I cried myself to sleep at night.

~*~ 

**I feel so bad for Lily.  Yes, I pity my own characters.  And myself.  I have horrible hair.  So, I got _myself depressed when I wrote the hair line.  Crap monkies!  Well, let's read the reviews, shall we?  Ego boost, that's it._**

~*~

_The author would like to thank:_

_SaM__: Thanks a bundle! _

_Lil__ lily: A lesson I have yet__ to learn.  Woe is me. Anyway, thanks for the compliment.  It really meant a lot to me. I try to think back to that age, what we would have said or done._

_Trina Casey: I actually did that once.  GAH!  Of course Sirius is a good singer.  How can he not be?  ::Sniffles:: Order of the __Phoenix__!_

_Nicola: Short and sweet…just like me! Okay, maybe short and bitter/cynical.  Moving on, Thanks for the compliment.  The style for this story is VERY different then how I normally write.  I was so worried about it!  _     


	6. Morgan's Big Bloody Mouth

On Random Notes of Parchment

By: VoldemortsIllegitimateChild

Chapter Five: Morgan's Big Bloody Mouth

A/N: For the purposes of this story, the old Potions professor had the dungeons set up differently than Snape.  

~*~

          Sometime around mid-April, I decided something.  I'd had enough.  I was not going to let James Potter rule my life anymore.  I was bigger and stronger and tougher than that.  I turned my attention to other people, guys and girls, in other houses and those in second year.  These were not all romantic interests.  In fact, I decided to stay away from guys for a little while.  But these were interesting people who I thought would make good friends.  And I was right.  At least, I was right about some of them.  

          Among the girls were Elizabeth, a Hufflepuff, Sam, a Ravenclaw.  There were a few guys, too, like Brandon, Morgan's very sexy Chaser brother.  He was a year up from us.  Of course, after my fantastic success with Potter, I vowed to keep it a secret.   Of course, when do things go as they're planned, especially where I'm concerned?  

          I could keep it a secret. I am an awful secret keeper, at least when the secret is my own.  So, after a few days, Lisa and I were taking a walk around the lake.  I couldn't stop it; it just came out!  And then, I felt bad because Maddie and I tell each other everything.  So I told her, as well.  And then, I felt like I was a horrible friend to Morgan, because it was her brother, and we all knew except for her.  So, I told her.  

          It happened one day in Potions.  We were passing notes, like we always did.  I can't remember what the note said; it was more than seven years ago.  But Morgan had written something about me and Brandon.  The Gryffindors were all sitting together at one table, and we arranged ourselves girls on one side, guys on the other.  Potter grabbed the note and read it aloud, though he did do it softly.  I, seated across and three seats down, died. 

          "No, no, no, James, you can't tell _anyone!" I had begged.  _

          But that would have been kind.  That would have been considerate.  That would have been completely out of character for dear old James.  And so, he remained quiet for about a month.  But one day, during lunch…          I don't know if I mentioned it, but Brandon was a Ravenclaw.  He and James and Sirius had been fairly close growing up.  They played on toy broomsticks together nearly every day.  So, it wasn't odd for James, Sirius, and now Remus and Peter, as the four were always together, to sit with Brandon and his friends.  They sat at the end of the Ravenclaw table, closest to the door.  As we were leaving, James yelled after us, "So, Lily, what's it like to have a crush on your best friend's brother?" Brandon knew enough about his sister's friends to know that Lisa's older brother had already left school, and Maddie didn't have one.  I ran out of their, turned a corner, and stood flat against the wall.  My friends followed after me.  

          A few seconds later, Brandon's friend, Kyle came out.  He said Brandon wanted to go out with me.  I didn't answer at first.  Then, I looked up at him…

~*~

_The author would like to thank: _

_Ginny-Girl-89-(TF-is-mine: _You like depressing stuff? LOL thanks!

_Vamperfly__: Thanks, and your story is good! _

_Trina Casey_: I did that, but in my defense, I was little, stupid, and couldn't have been more on the spot if I was on the X in Treasure Island.  I miss Siri! And about Christmas, I'd love for you to tell me about it.  Could you e-mail me at fanfichick@yahoo.com?  Thanks for reviewing!

_Weasley Wizard Wheezes:_  Thanks.  I don't think I'm _that good a writer.  _

_Water-Lily-113_: I know, I'm a big curser, too.  But if the people in my stories cursed as much as me, they'd all be "R" and that would depress me.  

_Citrus scented:_ Wow.  That is a huge compliment.  I am not worthy!!


	7. Red Cheeks and Laughter

On Random Notes of Parchment

By: VoldemortsIllegitimateChild 

Chapter 6: Red Cheeks and Laughter

A/N: I was in a bad mood when I wrote this (though listening to Dashboard Confessional and the Alkaline Trio, which does cheer me up) and kept writing to get out my feelings. 

~*~ 

****************************************************************************************************************************************

_A few seconds later, __Brandon__'s friend, Kyle came out. He said __Brandon__ wanted to go out with me. I didn't answer at first. Then, I looked up at him…_

****************************************************************************************************************************************

…and began to laugh hysterically.  I did not find the situation funny in the least (more like mortifying), but the giggles burst out. I could feel them rising from my stomach, like a burp, but I was powerless to stop them.  I could feel my cheeks turn red and Morgan and Maddie, flanking me on either side, laughing as well.  

          After a few minutes, the bell rang, and I had to get out of there as fast as I could.  I had transfiguration next, and no desire to be late for it.  But soon it was time for lunch.  I debated staying in my dorms, knowing my faithful friends would bring me food, but that was a sign of weakness I didn't want to get out.  

          I forced a smile onto my face and walked into the Great Hall with all of my friends, even Hannah, Sam, and Elizabeth, who were waiting for me, it seemed.  I was determined not to see Brandon.  I kept my head turned away from him as I entered and was closely examining a button on my sleeve when I passed him.

          I couldn't avoid him though, couldn't pretend I hadn't seen him when he slid onto the bench, right next to me.  He sat so closely our thighs were touching.  I could feel my face flaming.  

          "Lily," he said, making that one word the sexiest sentence I'd ever heard.  

          I managed to choke out a hello. 

          "I heard you have…a li'l crush on me?"  

          I nodded, properly embarrassed now.  

          "I hope you're not blushing.  It's nothing to be shy about." He wasn't looking at me; instead, he was inspecting the apples, choosing the shiniest, and pocketing it.  

          "Well, I was having a small picnic on Saturday.  Nothing big, just a few people.  One at the moment.  Two, if I can wrangle another guest.  Are you interested?"  He looked at me, then, grinning.  

          "Sure," I said, a bit more at ease now.  "Who else is coming?"  

          "No one.  I don't need anyone else." With that, he walked off, taking the apple from his pocket and chewing it as he left the Great Hall.  

          I stared after him.  Woah.  

          The next three days were both the longest and the shortest I had ever experienced.  I wanted Saturday to come so badly, yet I was afraid of it.  I needed more time to prepare.  I needed more time to be a little kid.  For me, this date, this first date, was the first thing I would ever do as an adult.  And the terrified me.  It absolutely terrified me. 

          I made my way to the lake, where Brandon said to meet him.  The walk was a long one, and I felt dizzy and nauseas the entire way.  When I say Brandon there though, in the warm May sunshine, holding a rose and smiling, that all melted away, and all I felt was my smile.  

          Two hours later, I floated back to my Common Room, happier then I had been in ages.  I was young and I was smart.  I had a boyfriend (a boyfriend!) and was freshly first-kissed.  The happiness radiated off of me.  Not even James Potter could touch this good mood, though he tried.  He tried very hard.  

          Day after day, I was treated to torment and lies.  "He's cheating on you, Evans.  Didn't you know he's failing charms?  He'll be needing your help one day!"  He hissed things like this at me every time I passed, and once when I was walking down the hall with Brandon.  

          Brandon stopped and removed his arm from my shoulder.  He glared at James angrily.  Is there any other way to glare?  People certainly don't glare when they're happy.  He growled at James and punched him, right on the jaw.  The blow landed with a crack, and I took a sadistic sort of pleasure in watching him get his arse kicked. 

          I stood there, watching them fight fiercely, until McGonagall came up.  She was beside herself.  She yelled at them for hours. Gryffindor lost 30 points, 20 for James, and ten for me, as I didn't stop it.  Ravenclaw also lost 30, all of them on Brandon, but I could have cared less. 

          Brandon defended me (and himself), and James Potter had a black eye and a large bruise on his jaw.  Life was good.

~*~

**I personally liked this chapter a lot. Happiness has finally entered Lily's life, and James Potter got his just desserts for being such an asshole.  Yay!  **

**I was a tad bit disappointed when I saw I only got three reviews last chapter.  I think I'll update again when I get…35?  Yes, 35 is a good number.  So, my three friends: **

*****

**Little Key:  ::Does a dance:: You're back! You're back! I love it! I didn't leave a cliffhanger.  Are you happy now? (Michelle Branch begins to play) **

**VIC: Cut that music! **

** (_Again I Go Unnoticed _starts up). **

**VIC: Much better!**

*****

**Citrus scented:  James did not expect ****Brandon**** to ask her out.  TAKE THAT!! Oh word, I'm upset at my own characters.  I don't think that's quite normal.  **

*****

**Weasley Wizard Wheezes:  I love how much you want me to review.  Makes me feel special!  **

*** **

**I have to hurry and post this.  The "What Not To Wear" season premiere is on in…3 minutes!  Ah!  **


	8. Throwing the Fight

On Random Notes of Parchment

By: VoldemortsIllegitimateChild

Chapter 7: Throwing the Fight

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_We're concentrating on falling apart  
__We were contenders, now we're throwing the fights_   
_Brand New, "Okay I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't"_

Exams began shortly after the fight. I, horribly nervous, had no time for Brandon as I was far too busy studying. I barely had time to eat, and had but a precious few minutes to relax with my friends each day. I was, in short, a nervous wreck. It was the Friday before exams were to start that Brandon and I had our first fight.

I was in the library, looking up information about troll wars, as my History of Magic exam was first, when Brandon came in and sat down at the table next to me. I briefly looked up at him and muttered a quick hello, ignoring the arm he placed around my shoulders. When he tried to kiss me, I turned to him. "I don't have _time_ for this right now: I'm busy trying not to fail!"

He removed his arm from my shoulders. "You haven't had time for me for weeks, Lily. You just don't care about me!"

I recall being furious at the accusation. "That's not fair and you know it!" I cried. "Stop being such a whiny prat! There are more important things than snogging!" I didn't realize that both our voices were rising until the Librarian appeared at my side.

"Exams are next week and children are trying to study! Go and take your lovers spat somewhere else. _Now_," she added threateningly when I made no move.

I was seeing red as I tossed my books into my bag and slammed out of the library. As soon as we left the library, I let loose my anger at Brandon, and he yelled back at me. Finally, I shouted at him to leave me alone, and ran into my dormitory, crying partly out of anger, partly of frustration, and partly of sadness.

That weekend, I left my bed only to eat. I studied some, but spent more time pondering my own misery, or lack of thereof. I lost all emotion for Brandon after my first tears dried.

After the first day of exams, Brandon came rushing up to me and apologized. I forgave him and apologized for yelling, as well. As he leaned in to hug me, I couldn't feel anything, except confusion at my lack of feeling.

There wasn't much left in the school year. I thought I could just fake it until summer began, and then break up with him. But then how could I break up with him? I couldn't do it in a letter; I always felt that dumping someone in person was the only way to do it. I would have to see him, and then how could I arrange to meet him somewhere just to dump him? I resolved to do it before school let out.

I asked him to meet me near the greenhouses. I arrived there before he did, and paced nervously back and forth until he arrived. I suggested we take a walk, and before he could hold my hand or put his arm around me, I said, "We need to talk. There's no easy way to say this, but… I have to break up with you. I don't feel the same way anymore, and I don't want to hurt you or use you or anything like that." I didn't look at him when I spoke, and we kept walking. After a few minutes, he put his arm around my shoulders. I was confused, but I didn't ask him to move it.

Eventually, we turned around and began to walk back up to the castle. When we reached the common room, I looked at him for the first time. He looked sadder than I'd ever seen him. He wasn't the type to cry, but I could see the sadness etched out in face. "I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's fine," he responded. But when he said it, I knew it wasn't fine. There was a ragged quality to his voice, one that broke my heart. I looked back at him once more, regretting it when I saw his expression. Then I ran into my dorm.

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**Sorry for the wait. I just… didn't know where to go with it. That however, in case you were wondering, is pretty much exactly what happened the first time I broke up with a guy. **

**Thank you (Bet you won't even remember what you reviewed—it's been so long, I know I wouldn't):**

**Citrus scented: **Ah, James… when will you learn? I do feel better 8-D

**Nicks**: Aww, thank you 8-D. I

**Weasley Wizard Wheezes: **But this is fanfiction! Things can't go right! :-p.

**Wo**** Ai Ni16: **Thanks for your compliments!

**Little Key: **Brandon is a solid name… when my friend's sister had a kid, she named it Bradley, and I must have said, "Bradley is a solid name" 50 times. Lol I love you, too.

**Sunnie****: **Well, I'm glad you think the fanfic as a whole is good, but from what we've scene, James isn't very nice, and doesn't really care about Lily's feelings.

**Lils**** (darkestmaeve)**: Thank you! Yes, James did get what he deserved. Bwahaha take that, James!

**Tribal Leader: **Yeah, I haven't seen a story like this. I'm quite glad it's original. (So now I'm going to find a story just like this published before mine, like tomorrow or something :-p)

**Trina Casey**: Yeah, James is such an eleven year old boy (oh wait, he actually is) and Lily is just oblivious. And he did deserve a good, swift, kick in the arse. Bwahaha take that James!

**SerpentofSalazar****: **Yeah he got what he deserved.


End file.
